so no face is a character in the movie “Spirited Away” and I saw this movie while I was having some major emotional problems, like just feeling like things were always unsure, unsettled, and questioning all my relationships, feeling really insecure, and feeling ignored all the time, I felt like I was invisible when I was with my friends, sometimes I still feel that way, like people who are supposed to care are really just indifferent, anyways, its like a monster, its like being a monster too, because it makes you do funny things, and you end up losing what you actually had, it’s a fixation, it’s like gluttony or addiction, it’s compulsive, not volitional, and no face isn’t a bad monster, really, it just acts out, because it doesn’t know how else to act, and even then it’s only reacting to what other people feed into it, and there’s this part in the film where two characters are trying to cross a bridge, and if they hold their breaths, they can’t be seen by the spirit world, and so I decided to use that, to try to breathe deep, which is both a way of being seen, in desperation, and also a way of saying I should calm down and take a deep breath and try to see what the real situation is, and when that doesn’t work, when despite all my own openness and caring, I still feel marginalized, in that state of hopelessness, sometimes even an enemy is better than nothing, or seems it, or at least that is what my behavior seemed to suggest, not that I ever literally make enemies out of people deliberately, but the point is that its almost better than not having any relationship, because that indifference is like a nothingness which compares rather unfavorably with the undeniable presence of crisis, with opposition as a something-ness, and man, that monster that is insecurity, anxiety, despair, its like a presence, there’s no face to it – it is the true enemy, the true opposition, but it will never show itself, allowing you to realize the folly of your actions - it’s just always with you, following you around incessantly, it’s the air you breathe, anyways, I hope this doesn’t seem to solipsistic, but it is how I felt, I assume you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t care what the lyrics meant, this is one of the songs people talk to me a lot about and ask about, and so I figure it warranted some explanation, because ultimately it describes a certain mental state that another person might share, might empathize with, or better understand, it’s personal, but it is still communicative, a lot of “emo” seems to whine, but the point (for me) is expressing yourself authentically, and its really cool when someone can identify with that